We often fail the single among us in the church. We elevate the status of married Christians, even with our programming and our conferences, as if marriage is something to celebrate and singleness is something to survive. But there are no biblical grounds for believing that singleness makes someone a second-class Christian. We need only consider the Lord Jesus, who never married, and the Apostle Paul, who was also single, to see that singleness is used by God in mighty ways.
Perhaps you are single, but you are praying for a spouse. You could be single because you feel like God has called you to a life of singleness. You may even be someone who feels like singleness was unfairly thrust upon you due to circumstances like divorce, abandonment, or the death of a spouse that came all too soon. No matter your situation, I pray this writing will help you see that your ability to glorify God is not hindered by the lack of a spouse. As a matter of fact, there is freedom and joy that come with singleness and celibacy that can be leveraged for God's Kingdom in ways you cannot if you are married.
So, how can you glorify God in singleness? Here are four specific ways:
1 - Embrace that you are more to Christ than your marital status.
Sadly, there are two pervasive lies in the church:
- You are complete in Christ when you marry.
- You are incomplete in Christ if you are single.
How do we know these are lies? Because there is no biblical precedence that says you must be married to be complete in Christ. Marriage does not make you complete in Christ. Christ makes you complete in Christ!
Yes, marriage is a gift of God. It is ordained by God and designed by Him. It is a wonderful and joyful experience when it is in Christ. But singleness is a gift from God, too. Some of the greatest men and women who have ever shared the message of Christ have been called to lives of singleness. It is a good and honorable thing to live single before the Lord.
We read in Psalm 16:11, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” You don't have to be married to enjoy the fullness of God in your life. There is no such thing as a greater dose of the Holy Spirit or more power from God because you are married.
God loves the married and the single the same. Resolve to find your identity in Christ, not in your marital status.
2 - Choose to live a life of celibacy and purity.
The idea of celibacy is foreign to the world. It is assumed that adults, specifically young adults, are going to be sexually active. While many are, this is in direction opposition to the Word of God.
There are no biblical grounds for any lifestyle other than a life committed to the Lord in singleness and celibacy or a life where a man covenants with one woman. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us that we are to, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Notice that it is to be honored by all, not just by husbands or wives. Everyone is to honor God’s design for sex and marriage. It has been said that if sex is a river, marriage is the banks. When you allow a river to get out of its banks, it destroys everything in its path. Any sexual relationship outside of a covenant marriage between one man and one woman dishonors God's plan and brings pain and devastation.
So, if you are single, you glorify God in your purity and celibacy.
3 - Embrace your singleness as a gift.
Have you ever felt tempted to view singleness as some form of punishment or at least as an area of great disappointment and unfulfillment?
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Paul is letting us know singleness is a gift! Because you are not burdened to care for a spouse, you are free to do things in the kingdom that you might not otherwise be able to do.
Refuse to look at your singleness as a black eye on your identity or a place you don't want to be. Embrace it as a gift that God has given you. It may not be a permanent gift. You may choose to marry one day, but in this season, serve the Lord with the freedom of your singleness, which leads to our last point.
4 - Start serving the Lord now.
The desire to be married is not sinful. But you must not wait for the Lord to provide a helper for you in the form of a husband or wife before you start to be about His work - growing His kingdom and serving Him.
People often think they need to find a spouse before they can do great things for the Lord, but that simply is not true. Don’t delay your obedience. Start serving Him today while you trust His plans for your future.
Remind your heart that you are not "less than" in God's Kingdom. He has not forgotten you or left you out. I encourage you to find contentment in Christ and leverage your singleness and celibacy during this season. And to those called to remain single, rejoice in the freedom you have and use it for God’s glory.